by Hope Elizabeth Dutton | August 6, 2022
GOING WITH THE FLOW
Hey, all you VidaVibe People!
It’s me, Hope, your VidaVibin’ volleyball livin’, lovin’ & bloggin’ momma bringing you another volleyball mom reflection!
So just about the time we get into our groove, life changes a little! Or a LOT!
Every day brings something new on our life’s journey and for our girls!
I mean, MY GOODNESS, look at what our tribe at VidaVibe did with the recent release of their amazing REBRAND! If that isn’t change, I don’t know what is?!
Yet, how exciting, because transformation is good! It is fresh, innovative, and creates and promotes growth…and sometimes a little scary too!
However, the change I am talking about in this particular case is us volleyball mama’s encountering whatever “SEASONAL” change we face as our children’s lives change.
It never fails that from year to year, season to season, skill to skill…we are gearing up for whatever phase our girls are rolling into! Truthfully, after years and years of doing this, I have concluded, this volleyball wheel never quits rolling, and it is ALWAYS about CHANGE!
Even before summer has ended, countless young ladies are preparing to take their beginning steps toward their high school experience.
It may be their first time in 9th grade. So they may have been preparing all summer long for try-outs! They may be nervous, anxious, and have all the same apprehensions and fears to overcome as any incoming freshman! Only now, layer in summer camps, try-outs, and whatever else a high school coach might expect! Bigger campus, more challenging classes, little fish – big pond, and the desire to work hard to prove themselves successfully!
This is big stuff…and often kind of scary for our daughter’s (and us Momma’s too) and it is okay to feel those feels!
We’ve all been there, maybe even a few times over!
Then for others, it may be their senior year or any year. Trust me when I tell you, each one of those years is equally as impacting, yet each developmentally in its way…
I know for my girl and all the girls around the nation heading into their senior year, many are not only processing the thoughts of it being their senior year, and hopefully best year yet, but that it is their last year in high school.
Our daughters are actively engaged in college applications, completing scholarship applications and FAFSA’s, vying for the best possible SAT and ACT scores, trying to fulfill volunteer hours while managing all the other aspects of their high school life and preparing for everything that goes with it! It is also the last year for us parents to sit in those high school stands, proudly wearing our daughter’s school colors, watching them playing for their team.
Add to it; many may be active in recruiting, writing letters, sending videos, communicating with coaches, keeping lists of each school, while juggling all that entails…plus, heading into various training and camp commitments, campus visits, showcases, possibly juggling online classes, maintaining their grades, not to mention their desire to be active in clubs. Somehow, no matter how hard you try to assist them to stay in front of it all, it feels like that sand on the beach…very unsteady!
I don’t know about you all, but if I feel overwhelmed writing about it, imagine how they feel living it? That is a genuine and sobering thought.
Tonight, my rising senior daughter got a postcard from one of the seniors on the college volleyball team she is talking with. It was very personal and hit upon some key points that have been a part of my kid’s thought processes, yet it got me thinking about the unknown girl who wrote the postcard.
First off, how awesome of that college, their coach, and that graduating player to think of, much less to take a moment to do that…it’s incredible how much a handwritten, personalized note means in this very electronic age! Secondly, this unknown young lady’s life is about to drastically change too, as she exits college and most likely will quit her competitive volleyball days. That isn’t easy for her either.
So no matter the developmental phase or stage your daughter encounters, the message can be the same.
The more complex the struggle, the more glorious the triumph. They may cry and feel uncertainty flood their hearts from time to time or even decide to go a different direction. Sometimes they’ll tuck themselves to bed feeling overwhelmed or possibly alone! This is how it can go for women who have desires to not just win at a game, but to win in life! It can feel as if no one else in the WHOLE WORLD understands their struggle, whatever that struggle may be…and they need to hear us voice that we’ve had these emotions too and it is OKAY to be vulnerable!
Yet, I’ve ALSO taught my girls that we are strong, independent women. To be kind to others but know when to set a boundary. To lean on their support when it seems they need that guidance or boost! To accept others and they will likewise be accepted, and as a result, they will have a supportive tribe ready to come to their side when needed. To be balanced, living fully in the moment while planning for the future and respecting their past but not letting it rule their NOW! To trust their gut and that we have faith to guide us.
So while we may not always see the bigger picture, we must trust that everything happens for a reason, and to take heart because when they wake, they will be ready to face the NEW day, where anything is possible.
My job as mom is far from over yet I’m not doing any of my girls any favors if I steer their ship. Our daughter’s have to be taught how to be their own captains and I will always encourage them to spread their sails as much as they want.
Until then, I will continue to cheer my girls, all our mother and daughter teams and the inspiring women (like those behind VidaVibe) of the world on this incredible big journey of life because as much as we all think we have time, every one of these developmental phases and stepping stones will fly by. You can only imagine the tears, hugs, reassurance, and even more love that may be needed along the way because life is a journey and we need to journey well!
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